Bringing a Sense of Control to the Career & Life Clarification Process

Navigating the career clarification or transition process can be overwhelming.  This is a time when it can feel like your life and even your future is out of your control.  In this multi-part blog series, I will share insights and coaching tips on how to feel more in control back during this process.In this first blog, we will examine why we why can feel out of control of our own lives.
The FallacyThere are two components to what is known as the Fallacy of Control:

1. You believe you should be able to control or influence everything in your life.
2. You believe you have no control or influence over anything in your life.

Subscribing to either lens of this fallacy can be dangerous. When you view the world through the lens that you should be in control of things, you may try to control things that are outside of your influence, including other people. You can become very distraught, frustrated or even anxious when things do not go the way you planned.  You may even blame yourself for everything, even if there is nothing you could have done to change a situation.   Viewing the world through the opposite lens where you believe that you do not have any control over what happens in your life can result in apathy or adopting a “why try?” attitude or even lead to depression.  You might blame others for things that are clearly within your control and you may feel like a helpless victim of circumstances.
Locus of ControlIn psychology, the fallacy is called the  “locus of control” and defined as the “degree to which we do and don’t believe we have control over the outcome of events in our lives.”  The person who believes that they can (or should be able to) influence all events and outcomes in their life is said to have a strong or dominant internal locus of control.  At the other extreme is the person who believes they have no control over most everything that happens.  They are said to have a strong or dominant external locus of control.  You can measure where you fall on the locus of control continuum by taking the Locus of Control assessment.
Both extremes can be emotionally unhealthy. The goal is to establish a balanced locus of control with a realistic view of what you do and don’t have control over.  The truth is that there are certain areas of life that you do have control over and some you do not.  When you are aware of what you can and cannot influence, you can develop more realistic expectations which will help you stop feeling stuck, powerless, or out of control. You will know how,  where and on what 

to focus your effort and what you can let go or not beat yourself up about.

As a trained life coach and a certified holistic narrative career and life clarification professional, I help clients identify where a control fallacy might be impeding their ability to move forward or successfully obtain a life or career goal. This process is guided by the OneLife Tools Becoming Empowered & Proactive in Your Career & Life Choices model.  Through the use of reflective questioning, Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Mindset interventions and tools, I can help clients in the initial coaching stages break free from limiting thoughts and behaviors to obtain the career and life that they truly want and deserve.

Contact me at 970-481-3528 or stansnikki@outlook.com to learn how I can support your career or life transition.